Terrifying nights
Boo has started to have night terrors. Horrible, loud, endless, terrifying night terrors. She will wake us several nights a week with a blood curdling scream that goes on and on and on. When I go to...
View ArticleI am so angry…
Depression is killing me. As hard as I try to fight it and to ‘be ok’ when I’m really anything but sometimes it will get the better of me. At the moment it is using lethargy. Total exhaustion. I am so...
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F*ck You PND
Today is a good day and god does it feel nice. Every good day I have seems to enable me to get my head a little bit further above the water. Every good day I have makes everything just a tiny bit...
View ArticleI’m Angry
I don’t even know how I feel any more, but I think, for now, I am going to have to go with angry. Yesterday I felt as low as I did about two weeks ago. That’s a huge step back from fourteen days...
View ArticleIt’s All My Fault
It’s my fault: That I feel like this. That the husband is doing too much and getting stressed. That we’re in a shit situation financially. That I can’t look after Boo properly. That Boo wants her...
View ArticleSleep, You Slippery Devil You
Insomnia is a pile of poo. I have tried everything to help me sleep. From hot chocolate to counting sheep to hot, lavender scented baths to no food after 6pm. Everything including laying in the...
View ArticleLast Wednesday: My Little Girl
Are you bored of hearing about my phone yet? Ok, fair enough. Feel free to skip this next bit… Yes, I know I am an idiot for not having insurance. I am also an idiot for waving my phone around...
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2:15am. I wake to the strains of Boo whining and decide I need a wee and a glass of water. Crawl out of bed. Walk straight into pile of dirty washing. Fall out of bedroom into husband. 2:16am “I’m...
View ArticleLove And Hate
I fall in and out of love with night, over and over until I’m spinning in circles. Love is because I am the only person in the world. Surrounded by darkness and silence I’m free to think, to exist, by...
View Article(Can’t Get No) Sleep
Insomnia is the tricksy little creature that hides itself in the shadows and unfurls to taunt me at about 2am every single night. It peels itself from the bedroom wall, all sinewy limbs and long...
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